‘As a fan of true crime, I often find myself watching or listening to tales of people who’ve been convicted of crimes because of the things they’ve Googled…’
These are often phrases like ‘how to dispose of a body’ or ‘effects of force-feeding your husband anti-freeze’ and it never fails to amaze me how stupid people are. This got me thinking about my own Google searches and whether people would be surprised by the things I’ve been keen to know… These are the things I’ve Googled in May.
‘Can North Koreans look into South Korea?’
Ok, so I’ve been writing an article on how I looked across into North Korea from the South, so I really wanted to know whether they could do the same back. Also, I was wondering whether Kim Jong Un had a huge telescope and whether he might have had it trained on me while I was there.
‘Livvy Drew Chelsea’
I watched the Arsenal vs Chelsea Europa League final during the week and stared blankly at my TV for a few seconds wondering in amazement why Oliver Giroud, who obviously plays for Arsenal, was dressed in blue and shooting up the wrong end of the pitch.
I Googled ‘Livvy Drew’ in the first instance because my nephew once referred to him as this and I think this is his name now. Google soon corrected me.
Anyway, turns out, Olivier ‘Livvy Drew’ Giroud plays for Chelsea now, who knew? Not me, clearly. He knows it, though, so he was actually attacking the RIGHT end of the park. Phew. Apparently, he left Arsenal in 2018, which goes to show you how much English football I’ve watched in the past year.
‘What is ASMR?’
I’ve spotted this term a few times in the past few months and had zero idea what it meant. I can’t say I wasn’t *slightly* anxious about searching for it in case my name ended up on a government watchlist. Turns out, it’s short for autonomous sensory meridian response. I discovered that a lot of people listen to ASMR to help them fall asleep or help them cope with trauma. I’ve got it on my to-do list.
‘How do you make homemade weedkiller?’
Yeah, so I spent £7 on some Roundup for the garden and it had absolutely no impact on the weeds. This led me to search for household items that could be used as a substitute and I discovered that a combination of table salt, vinegar and dishwashing liquid will do much the same job. Also, it’s much cheaper and when you run out, you can just go back inside and mix up some more.
‘Fast and Furious movies order’
Why this franchise isn’t just numbered Fast and Furious 1-8 is beyond me. It took me several searches over several days to figure out which order I should be watching them in and it all got a little confusing. I’m still not entirely sure about them, to be honest.
‘Sung Kang’ (multiple)
See above for details. I have a little bit of a thing for Korean actor Sung Kang (have you seen him eating nuts and looking all mean and moody?), so I have Googled him a fair bit recently. He’s the reason behind me watching Fast and Furious movies as Lord knows, it’s not for the cars or the storylines. I’m still gutted from finding out his character is actually dead now and probably won’t feature again. Waaah!
‘Chernobyl sheep North Wales’
I’ve just finished the book ‘Midnight in Chernobyl’ to prepare myself for visiting in June. While I was reading, I was stunned to find out that, apparently, radiation was found in a flock of sheep in Snowdonia. I live in Snowdonia so, obviously, I had to Google that shit right away.
Rather amazingly, there have been restrictions on sheep in this area for 26 years and they were only lifted in 2012. What I really wanted to find out was whether the affected sheep had any relatives who currently live in the field next door to me. Google couldn’t tell me that, so I’m going to get myself a Gieger counter and go for a walk…
What did you Google in May??